Mother of all YAC Classes

This was taken at the 10th Anniversary Reunion of our Young Adults' Class. We had almost 90% of the class there at the reunion. Most of us are still in Grace and we're still spurring each other on!

GO YAC'96!!

Broken Apology II

Samantha thought that the lyrics she wrote were too "generic", but it stirked a chord in my heart. It's been almost two weeks since I started listening to the demo she sent me. It's still so relavent to me today. I am still praying the same late apology. It might sound like I am always defeated, but I am not. I am just being cautious about the condition of my heart. I have shared earlier about the impending break from the youth ministry. What had sustained me is my constant reading (almost constant, but not consistent) . Yesterday before I left home for work, I was looking for a book to keep me company for yesteday's shoot. However i couldn't find any (I was at my in-law's place). I left the place feeling a bit disappointed because I badly need some uplifting in my spirits.

Now I am at my own house at Senja and listening to "Broken Apology" again and I found myself singing the song as a prayer again. I've trusted in books and knowledge and have not found time to pray and to be "still" before God. I feel very very lopsided now and I know I was wrong in finding solace somewhere else. I am not saying that what I am reading are bad or wrong. They are good and everyone should find time to feast their souls on them. But I realised I didn't do it in prayer. The bible says that we ought to pray at all times in our spirit and this will help us stay alert in living a Christ-glorifying life. It'll be a shame if I can teach well but fail to rest in the presence of the Lord.

It's the glory of God that has been my motivation in being a leader in R-age. Being in ministry motivated me to stay alert. This is not a good motivation because the centre of our focus is never the ministry, but Christ. I owe the Lord an apology for putting my focus on doing things rather than on Him. I really want to make Christ the motivation for doing what I do - for living this life. If I live by the former motivation, what will happen if I stop serving? The ministry is not forever, but Christ is. If the ministry is not forever and I place my motivation on it, I will not last forever. However if my focus is in Christ, who is forever, I will last forever.

If I stop serving in any ministry in church, I still have this minsitry which is even greater than anything I've done - being a father. My dad shared with me one of this words of wisdom about 6 years ago and it's the only extra-biblical advice I keep in my heart. He said,

"No amount of success can compensate for the failure in the family"

Today I may be measured by the success of the youths I had the previlege of serving, but soon I'll be measured by the way I run the household. I may fail in many things, but if I fail at home, I fail in all things. That is why I pray the words of this song. I have to get my life back together again. I have to find my time to be with the Lord in prayer and in reading my Bible and meditating on the Words. Other Christian books are good, but if I don't first pray and read the bible, I fail else where as well. This is a call for discipline and balance. I don't want to lean too far to the left or to the right. I want to be balanced, I want to be right where the Lord wants me to be. For now, I know what I need to do and do it quickly I will. It's been quite a journey so far. I know what I need do do, it's time to do it now.

Oh I pray and I do pray and pray with all my being that Lord, You'll will keep me forever in all life's endaevour. It's here that I belong in my family in the cover of You, my King!

You let me walk away
Though you've tried a thousand many times
Like a love that's unrequited i did not reply
And if i died tonighti'd still awake in your arms

You let me walk away
Though it pierces your heart
And i've run so far so many times
I'm stained with your blood
And all of my thoughts just keep tearing us apart


So i'm singing this late apology
And i pray that You'll not take your sweet presence from me
Oh Jesus redeemer, my King and my Saviour
My precious constant faithful Friend
No matter what life brings
But i keep singing the same apology
And i pray that you'll not take Your sweet presence from me
Oh keep me forever, in all life's endeavours
It's here that i belong, with You my King

Though i've come so far thought my battles are already won
But the road's just got rockier
I'm back to square one
I never learn my lessons well
And i'm always searching for something else


So i'm singing this late apology
And i pray that You'll not take your sweet presence from me
Oh Jesus redeemer, my King and my Saviour
My precious constant faithful Friend
No matter what life brings
But i keep singing the same apology
And i pray that you'll not take Your sweet presence from me
Oh keep me forever, in all life's endeavours
It's here that i belong, with You my King

Now let the flood gates open...

Chase 2

Here are some pict from the production set of Chase. Thank God that I've always been blessed with a good production crew around me. There will be another 5 weeks of shoot and it's about 5 weeks before Baby is due too.

Daddy can't wait to see u!

Ling Hooi, Weiming, Derrick, Utt and Linda

Favourite time of the day: Lunch Time! (Eric and Derrick)

Charmaine and Joanne Peh in the background

Ling Hooi and Rachelle sharing a lighthearted moment during our break.

Ling Hooi seeting up the shot for the next scene.

Linda Liao. Like all the other cast, they are easy-going which makes this shoot lots of fun, yet we're serious about out work. Judging from the laughter, I bet by-standers will think otherwise.

Me, Linda and Utt. This is not good! I am such a mismatch next to these two beautiful people. Must be those eye-bags! Gross!!

Late night thoughts

I had one of the most wonderful experience in my life last night. For the past 3 months I was able to feel the baby's movement inside SW. But last night SW put my arms across her belly and I could feel baby wiggle across my arm. WOAH! This just made me more excited about baby's arrival. Oh yes, many people asked if he's got a name yet. I won't tell u, u'll know when he is born.

Let's talk a little bit about work. It's really sapping the spirit out of me. The more I work, the less time I spend in my time with the Lord (in solitude). May be I've been living on high dosages for too long and work just made me have withdrawals. Hey, I think this analogy is kind of cool. Man, I really wish I could set time aside to think of how I should run my life; how to balance family, ministry and work. Just this afternoon I was shopping at PS where I bummed into Vern, Shin Yong and Shin Yee which made me realised how much I missed meeting people. Then I went to Trumpet Praise and Music Plaza and I am reminded how much I missed playing music. On my way back, I'll think about how I should make up for lost time and try to plan time to do all those things I used to do. However when I reach home, those stuff became secondary.

You see, I believe that at the end of the day, what's left in your heart is what matters most and all I see is SW and the little one that will soon join us. I think back to the time I complained about the lack of good teachers in our youth ministry and wondered why my teachers stopped teaching today. I was already married when I asked this question. If marriage didn't change a thing for me, it shouldn't stop them from teahing, right? All my perception changed when I found out that SW became pregnant. When my teachers had the energy, being married and without children yet, to teach us well. When they had their children, the energy is diverted to teaching their children well because their family is the most important unit to them. And it is becoming more important to me than before.

I have done my best, I have done my time. I hope I left a legacy. I hope I ignited the detonator that causes a chain reaction from person to person. Keith Green said that each generation of believers is responsible for their own generation. I may not be ever-present in the the youth ministry in the near future, but each generation never cease to have people who were inspire by the previous generation to stir their own generation. There is always a remnant that stays fully committed to truth. God is stirring the hearts of some people, that is better than none. Christ changed the world starting with the twelve. God could change our youth starting with those few fired-up ones.

People or circumstances can take me out of the youth ministry, but they'll never take the youth minstry out of me. When baby is born, I'll definitely take a break from my ministry involvement, but I'll always be in prayer for them. I'll still be there for those whom I've always been close to. But there will come a time when I want to be a cool daddy first then discuss about serving in church again later.

Oh, pls take away that silly hanky! I am not quiting yet! Baby's arriving in about one months time.

WOAH!

Today's Playing Not Good

In other words I sucked!

First, the choice of songs were really tough. With my lack of practice, I really had a hard time getting into those fast songs. Man, if I can't practice next time, I won't want to play. It's going to affect those around me. So how? Must practice lah!

Second, I was asked to play louder. Every strokes I played made me repel from the drums. And for the sake of God's technical genius in creating the microphone. I wonder how come I had to play louder? Loud may be good, louder maybe better, but today loudness murdered me!

Third, I was so tired coz I had shoot this morning from 6am to 10am. No more last minute jobs no matter how I can make it for church.

To the team, don't be discouraged. We just needed more time to work on those songs. U guys are great musicians. This is just one bad experience. Frankly I didn't enjoy it mainly because of the loudness of my playing. ARhghgh...

An old intro to an old sunday school song

He's my life, He's my light

He fills me with delight

Jesus Christ is my saviour and I trust in His might

Thoughts bout a chat

Do you see, do you see, all the people sinking down,
Don't you care, don't you care, are you gonna let them drown,
How can you be so numb, not to care if they come,
You close your eyes and pretend the job's done.

Had a long chat with one of our young adults. After that I spent the whole morning asking if i was too hard on her. Was she ready to receive the things that I said. I don't want others to think that I am demanding everyone should shake up. Well yes, at the end of it all, I hope eveyone will come to that state, but I have to acknowledge that we all have difference stages of growth. But I tend to speak up if someone is not growing when he or she was suppose to. Nevermind the new believer for they will grow in due time. But for those who are suppose to be mature but yet are in their infancy, I weep over their condition.

Oh Bless me Lord, bless me Lord, you know it's all I ever hear,
No one aches, no one hurts, no one even sheds one tear,
But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds, and He cares for your needs,
And you just lay back and keep soaking it in, oh, can't you see it's such sin?

I am not perfect and I am definitely not there. But I want to be and I will urge others to "go up to the mountain of the Lord" with me. Our faith is a personal on, yet we're in this together to spur each other on. I can't stop telling others to stop. I'll only get wearier if they have.

Cause He brings people to your door,
And you turn them away, as you smile and say,
God bless you, be at peace, and all Heaven just weeps,
Cause Jesus came to your door, you've left Him out on the streets.

What do I have to lose in being straight forward? Why do I constantly feel sorry for speaking out. Do I care that I hurt others? That's the problem, we rather keep the unity and avoid controversey. It's a reflection of the worlds low regard for the Word of God. Sadly it's not the those who are outside are downplaying the Word, but those within the church.

Open up, open up, and give yourself away,
You've seen the need, you hear the cry, so how can you delay,
God's calling and you're the one, but like Jonah you run,
He's told you to speak, but you keep holding it in,
Oh, can't you see it's such sin?

I feel bad when I speak up, but if I don't I might regret. That will be as bad a disobeying the word of God. Yes, I rather be found wrong in people's eyes than to be wrong in the eyes of the Lord. I try my best to live in the light at all times. I fell a number of times, but each time I got up and have His grace comforts me and it gives me strength in my life. So many people will be watching us closely. Yes, we're constantly under the microscope. We're an open book that others read. A lot of people will not read the gospel, but they can read us. They can "read" the work of God in our lives. Thru us, they can see Christ.

The world is sleeping in the dark,
That the church can't fight, cause it's asleep in the light,
How can you be so dead, when you've been so well fed,
Jesus rose from the grave, and you, you can't even get out of bed,
Oh, Jesus rose from the dead, come on, get out of your bed.

The time has come for us to arise to the purpose that we're created for. Time to get out of our slumber!

Broken Apology

Heard another great song while letting the songlist play by it self. It's Broken Apology by Samantha. Wah... It was a great song, Sam!!!I've been listening to the song the whole morning and the words reflect the prayer in my heart. I wonder how many who listen to it will feel the same as me when they listen to it. Only those who realise that they are utterly unable to save themselves with a simple apology. Yet it's the cry of the broken that the Lord turns his head to listen. I wish many of us will hear this song one day and pray the same prayer as I did.

I pray that You'll not take your sweel presense from me... It's here that I belong with You, my King.

WOAH!!

Let us see to it that we set forth our Lord Jesus Christ as the infallible Teacher, through His inspired Word. I do not undestand that loyalty to Christ which is accompanied by indifference to His words. How can we reverence His person, if His own words and those of His apostles are treated with disrespect? Unless we receive Christ's words, we cannot receive Christ; unless we receive His apostle's words, we do not receive Christr; for John saith, 'He that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.'

Charles Spurgeon

Is that the word of God to u today?

Thoughts about the gospel

I've been thinking about the theme of lsat Sunday's Power and Praise weekend. The theme was love. The main thrust of the message were Security, Self Worth and Significance. Brothers and sisters, that is just part of the gospel but it's not complete. No gospel-sharing is complete without the acknowledgement of sin in us and the emphasis of our need for salvation only through Christ. It is only when we realise that we are hopelessly lost without Christ, can we find real Security, Self-worth and Self-worth. A heart that doesn't weep over the spiritual condition of his sinfulness has no place for Christ because Christ and sin cannot co-exist in the heart. It's Christ or nothing.

There is so little we could do, but that little means so much if we want to see revival. U know what I long to see? I just long to see another leaders meeting where everyone is so convicted by their sins that they all fall on their faces and cry out to God to revive us again. Can u look at your youths and not weep (at least in ur heart?). If we really want to see regeneration, we have to weep! Weep! Cry over their dead bodies! Pray and pray that God will breathe life into these "dry bones"! Let's start with ourselves first... on our knees.

Can Cry man!

I was chatting with Eeleen and she sent me a song that she wrote. Man, it's so good! I almost cried man! It's such a great song! Well done lah, Eeleen! U guys should hear it man!! Her church is doing the recording in our church's basement studio. The version she sent me was the Easter version which was very good already! Wah piang!!!

Everything to me

I see the nails embedded in Your hand
I see the feet that were pierced for me
I see the sides that were bleeding at Calvary
It’s no wonder then, my heart sings for Thee

Chorus
Cos You’re everything to me
You’re all my eyes can see
So I let go of all that steals my heart
And take hold of Your hand in mine

Verse 2

I see Your eyes, consuming fire in Your gaze
I see the stripes You bore that I might be whole
I see the throne You left to come and die for me
It’s no wonder then, my heart sings for Thee

Chorus

Cos You’re everything to me
You’re all my eyes can see
So I let go of all that steals my heart
And take hold of Your hand in mine

(to end)

So I’ll follow the feet that were pierced for me
And Jesus, I am ever, for Thee.

eeleen / 2004

Power Praise Experience

Suhui asked me to share the gospel to Grace's friend which I did after the service. I did share with Ken, but he wasn't ready to accept the Lord. Grace asked me how it went, I just told her that I tried my best holding nothing back and we should not be ashamed of the gospel. I just went for it with passion knowing that I have nothing to lose sharing my faith. On my wat back, I pondered on Ken's apparent uneasiness when I kept going on and on and I wondered if I did the right thing. One thing that I learned from this experience is to keep my eyes on the Lord and distinguish the difference between spiritual humility from pride. I felt a bit bad coz I thought I didn't present the message clearly, I felt that I rushed thru the sharing and was doing it for the sake of doing it. Oh well, I am learning still...

This last week, I've been working on the second season of the TV drama series "Chase". The cast were so cool! Utt, Max, Linda Liao and Joanne Peh were the lead actors this season, however there is no shoot this week so it's a chance to be refreshed in the Lord. After what happened this morning, I really need to know what I believe and pray for wisdom to share what I believe clearly and confidently.

To the week ahead! I dare u to give me ur best shot!

WOAH!!

This is one of those "WOAH" post that I read. It's related to the post mentioned before this one.

Your passion for your youth ministry is really encouraging. While i wish to leave my one.five cent worth of encouragements.

1) Let your focus for your youth ministry be on Evangelism, not on the youth ministry itself. (1 Tim 2:4 who God desires everyone to be saved, and come to a knowledge of the truth). The youth ministry ought and first, be a mission minded organism because being a youth and mostly students, no other bigger opportunities will be given to you and the youth to tell those around you and the youth about Jesus!

2) Dream. It is a great thing to dream big for God, for the size of the dream determines first, your faith in God, and second, your thirst not to live your life wasted. Read John Piper's Don't waste your life.

3) Leave a legacy, not just memories of another good worship leader. Invest your life in raising people or youths that will carry that fire of passion after you've gone. Like Barnabas to Paul and Paul to Timothy and Mark.

4) Be a defender of your faith. Titus 1:9 says He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. Your shield is your faith and your sword is the Word of God, learn to weld these two well with your full armour of God, because like it or not, you are in a fight of your life, and in order to move forward, the leaders must do it on their knees in prayer.

Passion for R-age

I was reading Joey's blog and was so encouraged by his passion. I really pray that this fire will not die, though someday it may just be a candle flame. But in God's time, it will be set ablaze the path to Christ which others will see and follow. Below is the comment I made to that post and I urge u to join us in prayer too. Let's have a passion for Christ and a compassion for our Youths! You have been there long enough to know the condition of their hearts. This is serious stuff!!


I'll dream with u.

Let's be up in arms, or rather up in folded hands and bended knees and pray. Not just any ordinary prayers, but prayers that shakes the door where God's annointing flows. Prayers that goes beyond words which cause us to prostrate in agonising prayer. A prayer that doesn't demand for God's promises to be fulfilled, but a prayer that trust for His promises to be fulfilled in due time.

The time is ripe for the people to arise from their slumber. I hope many people read your blog to find inspiration from ur passion for the passion of Christ.

Woah!

Today I played drums in the youth service. This is definitely a different experience from playing in the main service. Not that our standard is inferior to theirs, but we have more freedom to express ourselves in the Youth service. This is probably due to the indie style that I am so familiar with. In anyway, I thanks to Jon, Caleb and Liang, I just let it rip and boy did I rip the drums apart! I don't feel 100% comfortable, but I feel so much in control now. The sad thing is this might be the last time I am playin in the youth. I do not know the schedule for the drama shoot I am involved in for May and June and after that I need to think about the extent of my ministry involvement when the little one arrives.

It's exciting times ahead and it's building to a climax. I feel it in my bones man!

This is something exciting. On saturday, I watched Lester, Pearlyn, Samuel (Tan) and Caleb jammed on Saturday. Oh my my!!! They have so much potential! Sam and Caleb are already killer in covering other band's indie songs (they already did surreal!, Dashboard, Lifehouse and Yellowcard!!). Lester can sing, pearlyn has a potential to be a rawker bass-chick if she commits to practice (without affecting her studies of course).

It's good to see a new band surfacing in our midst!

The Progression & Pain of Songwriting

The Progression...

I was watching the Killswitch Engage DVD this morning and was so hyped up by their documentary that I went to pick up the electric guitar to start writing from an idea I had in my head. I quickly grabbed my guitar and went to re-string it first. The new strings were so cool, it's red. The one that they guys like Liang and daniel were using. I took my time watching cable and re-strung the guitar and was about to finish changing all 6 strings when suddenly the 4th string broke...

...that's the pain.

One word... KILLSWITCH!!!!

Thanksgiving

Last night was the Life Concert Thanksgiving night. I had a good time with those guys chatting, playing music. There were lots of laughter and warmth. It's so cool! How I wish all my Cells will have such a warmth within them and between other cells and most of all as a youth ministry.

I used to be very jealous when I hear how "successful" other churches' youth ministry or music ministry is thriving. But these days, I am rejoicing for their successes. Our ministries is unique and growing. It certainly improved a lot since we started, but there are definely room for improvements.

One aspect that we ought to improved on was something that CX shared about yesterday. She asked if we really want to do cell and if we are excited about it. She said that that R-age is so blessed with venues to have cell. Venues which the pastors pain-stakenly hunt so that we can have cell on Sundays. I'd like to add my personal voice to what she shared. It's my vision to see the cell meet up on a weekday despite their busy schedule in school. I hope that they will be so excited for cell that they'll do whatever they can to earn the trust of their parents to allow them to attend cell. By that I mean they had to be committed to their studies (their grades won't lie), be good children at home (evidence that the cell has been helpful in their growth). In order for them to be excited about cell, they must first be excited about Jesus. If Christ is not the reason why we're having cell, then we fail altogether. That is the primary reason. The secondary reasons are to provide spiritual input, fellowship, prayer and pastoral care among other things to each of our youths.

We really can't do anything more based on our limited resources, but we have such an assurance in Christ thru prayer. I shared with my CMs that "one praying man stands as a majority with God..." CX reiterate this point again in her closing. U know, we may have lots of plans but if we do not pray, it's an indication that we do not need God. How can we be ready for to do God's work if He doesn't strengthen us? Don't pass the buck. If u think that we let other people do the job, then there will never be anyone because everyone is passding the buck. John F. Kennedy said in his famous inaugural speech, "Do not ask what the country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country." In the same way, I implore u not to ask what God can do for you, but what you can do for God's kingdom.

The Lord is all powerful and surely can do all things without the help of anyman. But He wills that men be used to do his will so that He may be glorified through the lives of his servants. Therefore let us pray! Dun pray for the sake of praying. Pray passionately! The word "passion" comes from the latin word that means suffering. To pray passionately doesn't mean to pray with the same desire that we have when we lust things but to be willing to suffer or to agonise over it. That is prvailing prayer. Not that it will be answered, because all is in the sovereign will of God, but we prevail in prayer because God hears our prayer. God will answer our prayer not because we deserve it, but because He is gracious. Pray with passion. "In all thy getting, get unction!" wrote Leonard Ravenhill. He didn't define what "unction" is but he did say what it is not. [in my own words] It's not passionless, slip-slop, pray-for-the-sake-of-praying prayers.

Will we see success in our ministry? How do u measure success? I dunno but all I know is I need to pray and do my part in His kingdom.