Late night thoughts

I had one of the most wonderful experience in my life last night. For the past 3 months I was able to feel the baby's movement inside SW. But last night SW put my arms across her belly and I could feel baby wiggle across my arm. WOAH! This just made me more excited about baby's arrival. Oh yes, many people asked if he's got a name yet. I won't tell u, u'll know when he is born.

Let's talk a little bit about work. It's really sapping the spirit out of me. The more I work, the less time I spend in my time with the Lord (in solitude). May be I've been living on high dosages for too long and work just made me have withdrawals. Hey, I think this analogy is kind of cool. Man, I really wish I could set time aside to think of how I should run my life; how to balance family, ministry and work. Just this afternoon I was shopping at PS where I bummed into Vern, Shin Yong and Shin Yee which made me realised how much I missed meeting people. Then I went to Trumpet Praise and Music Plaza and I am reminded how much I missed playing music. On my way back, I'll think about how I should make up for lost time and try to plan time to do all those things I used to do. However when I reach home, those stuff became secondary.

You see, I believe that at the end of the day, what's left in your heart is what matters most and all I see is SW and the little one that will soon join us. I think back to the time I complained about the lack of good teachers in our youth ministry and wondered why my teachers stopped teaching today. I was already married when I asked this question. If marriage didn't change a thing for me, it shouldn't stop them from teahing, right? All my perception changed when I found out that SW became pregnant. When my teachers had the energy, being married and without children yet, to teach us well. When they had their children, the energy is diverted to teaching their children well because their family is the most important unit to them. And it is becoming more important to me than before.

I have done my best, I have done my time. I hope I left a legacy. I hope I ignited the detonator that causes a chain reaction from person to person. Keith Green said that each generation of believers is responsible for their own generation. I may not be ever-present in the the youth ministry in the near future, but each generation never cease to have people who were inspire by the previous generation to stir their own generation. There is always a remnant that stays fully committed to truth. God is stirring the hearts of some people, that is better than none. Christ changed the world starting with the twelve. God could change our youth starting with those few fired-up ones.

People or circumstances can take me out of the youth ministry, but they'll never take the youth minstry out of me. When baby is born, I'll definitely take a break from my ministry involvement, but I'll always be in prayer for them. I'll still be there for those whom I've always been close to. But there will come a time when I want to be a cool daddy first then discuss about serving in church again later.

Oh, pls take away that silly hanky! I am not quiting yet! Baby's arriving in about one months time.

WOAH!