"...but of Love, of Joy and of a Sound Mind."

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 24-25

Friday, September 10, 2010

Anxiety

I am so anxious about not being able to get the deferment to participate in the production of the feature. After all the anticipation and excitement, the delays in confirming the shoot may cost me the job. Now I can only pray that I'll find favor before God and the officers who is in charge of NSmen's deferment matters.

There are pocket of moments where I am reminded not to be anxious whether I get to do it or not. I know that God will take care of me and my family, but the dangling carrot of the high profile production makes me lust after it with a vengeance. As I weep at the possibility of not being part of it, I lament at my dependence upon it rather than on the providence of God.

Lord, please forgive me for my lack of faith In life's matters.
You have been good; always been and have never cease to be good to me and my family.
Sorry that I let the cares of this world blind me from your faithfulness towards us.
I declare my dependence upon you and ask for Your favor to be upon me like a shield as I apply for deferment even at this "late"
moment.
Search my heart and catch me when I fall upon hearing the news I don't want to hear
Then speak to me and I''ll listen to what you have to say and will obey.
In pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, my God and savior.
Amen