Wah!! Another good band!

I found Eve's band just as Beni recommended. Oh, she is good! The band is also good!! I like!!!

Check her band out!

Home Alone

No, actually I am not alone. Chia Ee is sound asleep. He has been wide awake since the afternoon and it was great to get him to sleep so that I can spend sometime alone at home doing some reflection (SW went for her class and the rest went to watch Forbidden City). I must add a big thank you to Suhui and Rachael for entertaining Chia Ee coz it really tired him out and now he is sleeping like a log.

FANtastic Band in Power Jam auditions

I see Ricky, Blob and Jeremy. I don't know who the singer is, but I like his voice!

U could see them here!

Missing the point

My work has taken a toll on my ministry. I had a chat with CX and I told her that I really feel out of touch with things in R-age. I really miss the ground work man. Dang... I think I am going to cry... I gotta make much of my time to make much of Christ, and thru me, may the Lord make much of me to make much of Him in ministry.

hmmm... doesn't sound that right, but I like the way it sounds.

So if u have time to spare, make sure u spend it wisely but make sure ur time with God is not from ur "spare" time. God is not your buttler when u need him. Look who's talking... I am expert at giving God my free time rather than disciplining myself to make Him my priority. Let this be a reminder to u and to me.

wahahhaa... anyway... this will surely crack u and me up! '

Peaceful

I suddenly feel a flush of peace gushing over me. It's as if heaven has opened it's gates and the anxiety ceased. SW encouraged and affirmed me before she slept that this is a lesson for me. I don't want to relearn it again.

Grave Concerns (The aftermath)

Blood is spilt upon the floor. Blood stains are all across the wall. Bloody footprints runs across the hall way. These blood were mine. The killer is me. This bloody account has nothing to do with what I am about to share here today. The most bloody thing that could happen is probably me puking blood.

Since that day I shared my thoughts about the first "Grave Concerns" post, I've not been sleeping well. I became very anxious about what others will think about me. I was very paranoid about what people might say bout me behind my back. This resulted in me becoming greedy, envious of the success of others and putting my trust in earthly pots of gold. I becamse a puppet on strings controlled by unknown forces. I began to be anxious about not doing well in my career when I ought to have paid attention to that I am not giving to my soul.

My soul is crying out for mercy and I received it because the bible tells me so. I do not want to be controlled by godless fear, but will only fear the Lord from whom I obtain mercy, peace and favour through his grace. Saying these things brings peace to my soul. I may have lost some potential hirers, but I have gained what I cannot afford to lose.

Guard your heart, Jenn. Don't lose your focus again.

Romans 5: 20a-21
But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The best thing to do for now

After a couple of hours chatting with CX and a whole load off my chest about my commitments, the best thing to do is not blog about it, but to live it out. So yeah, I don't want to blog about it and then not do it and come back online to whine about my weaknesses.

Chia Ee is at Grandpa and Grandma Chia's place this weekend. I feel like going down to spot-check on him coz Grandma Chia just loves to show him off to the aunties at the coffeeshop and the coffeeshop is not the healthiest of places for Baby Chia. Dang, I should just let him be, afterall I survived even harsher conditions. hahaha...

Oh, I brought my Modern Drummer DVD back home to watch and I am very inspired to play again. SW rubbed it in when she said that watching won't improve my playing. HOORAY!!! That's an endorsement to bring my practice kit to Jurong!! Woahooo!!!!

Nice pose!!

Senja Rocks

SW and I are staying at Jurong with my mother-in-law because of Chia Ee. This afternoon SW and I went back to Senja to clean the house. Before we started, she did her own thing and I did mine - I practice drums. Although it was just on the e-pad, I had a great work out! Now I'll be good at Jurong so that mum-in-law will not grumble when I set up my practice kit at her house. I really have to man! Coz I have so many things I wanna accomplish as a void deck rock star! Yes, I am out of the closet (sound so wrong!)! I want to be a void deck rock star then back to the stage again!! I don't know what my next musical venture will be, but let's wait and see.

I love Senja!!

Grave Concerns (Work & Conduct)

I hung out with Alvin the day before and I was greatly humbled by somethings that he shared, but man, did they shook me up!

It was brought to my attention (by Alvin and confirmed by Jason as I sought his advice) that I've been "under-cutting" other people's market as a location soundman. Some rumoured that I did it to solicit more business for my own gain. So I asked around and found out that it's not true. I thought what I charged was the "market" rate. It's a case of ignorance rather than arrogance. I really don't wanna offend my fellow soundman in Singapore, especially when most of them are people that I highly respect. I gave Jason a call last night and just shared how I felt upon hearing it. Of course I was affected emotionally, but only for a while. I always try to live in peace with everyone as much as I can, but sometimes mistake happens. I guess I've always been strong in such trials and it's good to go thru it and come out of it as a stronger person.

The problem above is more of a "physical" one. While chatting with Alvin how argumentative and defensive I've become. Instead of turning the other cheek for others to slap (aka going the extra mile for an adversary), I took and eye for an eye. It's actually an "I" for and "I", for every is about the "ego". I knew that if I am not careful about my conduct at work, it will deteriorate. I am at the edge of stumbling. If my youths see me at work, I'll be ashamed of myself for losing my testimony coz others can see that I am putting on a show at different places. I like to think that I'm a truthful person. Now that is scary! If I am what I am at work (the dark side), at home (where the good and bad collides) and at church (loving God and having a form of spirituality), does that make me a hypocrite? Does that mean I am serving "two masters"?

"Romans VII"by Keith Green keep replaying in my mind:

The very things I hate I end of doing

The things I want to do I just don't do

Lord it seems so sad, why am I so bad?

When in my heart I only be like You...

Lord how I know your tender heart must be broken,
By all those unkept promises I've made,
The question still prevails, please take away the doubt,
About how you forgive, and still you live inside when I fail

This is a time of conviction. I am convicted. The verdict is out. The heart is tainted. The brain is splattered. The ego is deflated. I rather become nothing now "to lose what I cannot keep to gain what I cannot lose".

Here I am

In that old place again

Down on my face again

Crying out

I want You to hear my plea

Come down and rescue me...

... Come to me, rescue me, fall on me with Your love...

Sad 2006

Hey peepz, I remixed Sad (with Vanessa on vocals) and I think it sounded much better than the first mix I did about 2 years ago. You can download it HERE!

Heavy Heart

On the flight back to Singapore, I read "Why Revival Tarries" once again by Leonard Ravenhill. It reminded me of the task at hand. I am not talking about the ministry that we should do, but the things that others don't see us do (which most of us, or at least me, do not do) - PRAY. We can perform in front of peering eyes, but in the prayer closet, there is no pretending.

This world hits the trail for hell with a speed that makes our fastest plane look like a tortoise; yet alas, few of us can remember the last time we missed our bed for a night of waiting upon God for a world-shaking revival. Our compassionare not moved. We mistake the scaffolding for the building. Present-day preaching, with its pale interpretation of divine truths, causes us to mistake cation for unction, commotion for creation. and rattles for revivals.

The secret if praying is praying in secret. A sinning man will stop praying, and a praying man will stop sinning...

Prayer is profoundly simple and simply profound...

Prayer is to a believe what caital is to a business man...

Spirit-inspired, hell-shaking, world-breaking prayer... For this kind of prayer there is no substitute. We do it - or die!

Taking a stand for what I belive in

Today is the last day of the shoot. I am so relieved that it's over. The shooting hours are really long. If I charge OT, this will definitely be my biggest pay-cheque, but dang, I didn't quote them with OT. Nonetheless, the after shoot activities hanging out at the bar chatting with crews from HK and Sg were really relaxing. Shared loads about Chia Ee to them too. I really miss SW and E E.

While at the last activity of the day this afternoon, there were some ICS summer camp group at the Macau Tower Skyjump's "Base Camp" area. They had an activity called "Leap of fath" which I thought was a cool name for an Christian based actvity for Skyjumping. So before they began, they sang "Forever" (Matt Redman), then this cameraman turned to be and said something like girls from such group is not cool and that it's no wonder there're no caucasians in the group. I smiled back and said, "I think they are cool... coz I married one of them..." Then I walked away.

I was so glad that they were singing that song! I sang along too, though it was at a much slower, if not too slow, tempo.

Gotta take a stand for what u believe and not be ashamed about it. Once u do it, it'll make u bolder and stronger. Live it out, peepz, live it out! Don't let non-Christians make u think that what u believe in is not cool. It's so cool that it beats the burning fury of hell.

I'll see u when I come home, Chia Ee and Honey!! I tried to use Internet SMS, but I can't navigatge that silly singtel website! Arhghgh...

Hello from Macau!!

Hello! Had the chance to check the e-mail today coz of the waiting time. The rest of the crew are preparing for the next shot which needs some serious preperations. I've been here 4 days and I really miss Xiaowei and Ee Ee. The shoot has been tiring as we had to rush from places to places. Nonetheless, it's quite fun lah.This shoot is for AXN called "AXN Extreme". It's pretty cool coz we get to go places in Macau Towers. Wow, I wish I brought my digital camera along. Well, the camera on my mobile phone ain't that bad.

7 days more before I come home!