A blur in the life of... Pt II

I was the only fool to think that my behaviour was acceptable. I thought I was alright, but I was blinded by my own arrogance. I didn't find solace anywhere. I was still going to church, but going to church was just a time of meeting up with friends like Daniel Ho and enjoying the attention I got in Sunday School. There was no solace for me. Everywhere I went I was afraid; I'll stand frozen and look around to make sure I was not being watched. I'd even check the pillars under my flat to make sure no one was following me. I'd even walk to the end of the lift-landing on the 11th floor to make sure I was safe. I was paralysed by fear.

During this time I was introduced to the music of Guns N Roses GnR. It open my life to the world of rock and roll. I really liked their stuff, but I couldn't stand the sweearing even though I was using it myself. But when I hear excessive swearing, it just didn't sound right to me. It's definitely not cool at all. Back then I was only listening to cassettes, my only three hard-rock cassettes were by GnR and Def Leppard. During that period of 1990, the Newpaper did an article about the occult's influence in Singapore. I was very curious about it especially on the topic of occultic influeces in the music that we listen to. Bro Matthew, my Sunday school teach bought tickets for a seminar called "Satanism Unmasked" and he asked me if I wanted to go. I said i wanted and so I was suppose to collect the ticket from him in the morning during church. For some reason, I didn't go to church that day. Wei Kurk went with me and I met him at WTC.

Throughout the seminar, the fear was at the back of my head, trying to stop me from listening to the speaker. The speaker made an altar-call for those who wants to break free from the influence of rock music in our lives. I responded and went to the altar. Then the counselor led me to the hall way at the side of the hall and asked me what he could pray for me. I think my first words were, "I've very scared" and then the flood gates open and I began to weep as I pour my heart out. The counselor read Psalm 23:4 to me,

"Even thought I walk through the valley if the shadow of death, I fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff. they comfort me."

He told me that I need a rededication and I became born-again that day, 11th March, 1990. I was 14 years old.