Heart Wrenching

Thanks for ur prayers and SMSes, the running nose and sore-throat didn't become worse, but kept under control.

The story of Keith Green sparked a fire in me that lighted the passion for Christ, Keith Green style, almost 13 years ago. It's his raw fire and his humaninty that drew me to Him. He loved God with all his heart, He did everything he could to be a true disciple of Christ. He demanded it in his songs and preaching, yet he acknowledged through his journals the struggles of living up to to it. It took him a long time to realise our position in the grace of God just as it took me a long time to realise it too. Once we grasp it, there is such a great liberty in Christ that made provision for us to fail. Not intentionally, but in the course of living, we will stumble, but we will not fail eternally! The spirit of God helps us in our sanctification . I am so grateful to God for His grace. I really only want to live for Christ and to uphold His name in everything I do. Everything... or nothing! I am trying, Lord!

I brought the book Make My Life a Prayer to the set on Sunday, which contains Keith Green's concert messages and excerpt from his private journal. One entry that struck me was one written in 1975.
Check this out:

March 23, 1975

Feelings
I've been feeling called again to some of the Lord's music. To write more parable music. O God, it's such a fight. People don't believe in You. I do! So much!

I've been writing commercial music to open the channels, get the platform, and retell the story of Jesus. His life, His miracles, His ministry, His Salvation, and His finger always pointing upward to the Father who sent Him! Oh if I could only feel this way all the time. Lord God, I ask you in Jesus Christ's name, my Master unto You, let me feel like this all my waking hours, that my dreams and my sleeping hours be filled with Your visions, so that I may be a servant truly, totally unto You. And that I might be a lampstand on which to place Your light of truth and salvation.

WE ARE LOST without Your law. Please give me the gift of total discipleship. I may not be worthy yet, but my desire is fully rip to serve You. Why must I struggle so? Why must I be tempted so?

It is written that "man shall serve the Lord as God and only Him shall we serve."

So let it be in our lives God. Please in Christ's name. I knock at the door for Your glory. Father, please give me the gift of conscious Christian mind. I know my deedsd, Father, I love You and trust You with all my heart and soul. Now let me do so with my mind.