Moving On

If i haven't spoken to Joey, I might never realised the kind of Christian I was just a few years ago; one with a lot of fire passion and commitment for the Youth Service. I was almost ashame for not being that passionate as him as he shared from his heart. Instead when I shared, I was sharing out of brokeness and out of the old fire that still burns to this day. This brokeness is one that causes me to weep for our ministry. I believe what Joey and I are going through are the progression of growing in our pentacostal environment. After running after the Holy Spirit and wanting more of Him to fill use daily, eventually the Lord will cause us to indeed hunger more of Him. Yet I was unsatisfied. I was never satisfied. We sing the song in church, "There must be more than this..."

I believe that there is more than seeking the "presence" of God. In my life now, the chief end is to seek the "essense" of God. God has faithfully and gloriously revealed to us in His Word. To be in God's presence but not driven to love Him more, to love His people more and to love His word more is to short-change God and to deny the role of the Spirit in the heart of a Christian.

I believe that when God genuinely change a believer, there is a change which is evident indeed. That change may take time to occur, but it begins at the point where of repentance and the proccess of change is sanctification . Indeed those that God sanctifies, He will glorify! In my years of worshipping in our church; in my years seeking for God's presence at every service, I have always felt the Lord moving. I thought I was sanctified, but there was no change in my everyday life because I didn't know what else to do. I was told to "soak in God's presence everyday" which is like trying to replicate the "atmosphere". I wasn't satisfied, I definitely didn't feel sanctified back then.

I believe that the Word of God is the ultimate objective reality that keeps me in line with the will of God. With so many people seeking for new revelation and experiences, many have forgotten the power of the Word of God which is available to all. All our daily requirement is found in the Word. That is why we are encouraged to read our bible daily. However reading without the Spirit of God giving us understanding will be like reading some textbook from school. The bible is not just a text book, it is God's warning, love letter, wedding invitation and "divine-help" guide for all.

Do I still yearn to be in God's presence everyday? You bet I do! We are good at leading people into God's presence in our church. But I feel I am more whole as a believer when I not a only allow the Spirit to work in me, but to let the Word renew me daily. Before I know God's word, I was always subjected to my own understanding of what I thought the Lord is speaking to me about. Then all those doubts and fears of listening to the wrong voices just confuses me. Yeah, but I just want to love God and do what He wills. I found joy today not just in His presence, but in His Word. With His Word I feel more complete in Christ because I am not longer governed by my own subjective understanding of God's will, but I am guided by the ultimate objective reality which is Christ whom I know through His written word. As I mature in my ministry, I want our youths to be just as good at handling the Word of God. This was my personal journey. Some may argue that this is God's will solely for me, but I have been teaching as if this is what our whole life should become. I feel very convicted about this and I am still learning how to tell others about this.

I just want to share this light. When God created the word, the first thing he said was "Let there be light". In the darkness of our world today, those words still echoes in the void of every soul. Let there be light indeed and may the light of Christ shines in the heart of all man.