A blur in the life of... Pt III

It was magical while it lasted and lasted it did til this very day. However it is not all a bed of roses. If you asked me during my early to mid teen I have been dependent on "experiential" faith. Since that day of redidication, there was one other incident at Trinity Christian Centre's youth service (At WTC then). Sis Jocelyn brought a few of the Sunday school pals there to check out their youth service regularly before we go back to Grace for our Sunday school. During the years of 1989 and 90, we were using SAJC for our service and it didn't start until late morning, thus we had the time to visit TCC's youth service. TCC was very inspiring. It became my "2nd church". If I missed Sunday school, I'll attend their later service. At one particular youth service which I went a long, the worship team was leading the song "The Spirit is falling" and I wept and wept throughout the song. The phrase in the song that broke the banks of the river was "Ths Spirit gives me heaven's birth". It was totally awesome! My first fuzzy wuzzy worship experience. The spirit was moving indeed becasue the worship team just went on an on. When I look back, I wouldn't deny it as the work of the Holy Spirit, but repeating the song make it looks hypnotipical. Anyway, I remember greeting the church members after worship with tears left in my eyes as if to tell the dude, "Hey I was 'crying in the chapel'"! It was an Elvis song in case u didn't know.

Since then I look forward to every worship session. The more I expect to feel the fuzzy wuzzy feeling, the more disappointed I become because it didn't happen many times. It didn't happen for quite sometime. In fact it seldom happen. I think I wept in service more after I return from "babylon" at the end of 95 (the details will be in a later chapter). However it didn't cause me to lose my faith in God. ALl I did was look forward to the next worship service. Mind you, I wasn't even interested in the word yet. In a way, u could say I had a lot of fire, but zero in substance. This did not discourage my faith at all. I guess my time was not yet then, but it was the building of tremendous belief in God that would later help me in "babylon". I cound confidently say that though I still had problem understanding the bible and some bombastic sunday school lessons, my faith in God was unwavering. It's true, once u've been touch, u'll never deny Him.

But then why didn't those high feelings return? How come I didn't weep? Is God done with me? I cannot remember my exact sentiments back then, but I just continue to serve the Lord with all my heart based on the "deliverance" from fear. I just couldn't deny Him. I didn't have the answer for what I was feeling until 2001. It was the Youth Retreat at Sunway Lagoon. One of my cell gals was moved by the Spirit and was manifesting it through the shaking-cum-weeping thing. During the next service she asked me how come she didn't feel anything at that service? She felt that the Spirit of God had left her and she didn't felt loved by God. That comment jogged my memory and I remembered how I felt back then after the weeping thing at every other services. I also realised what faith is now to tell her that when God touches you and u feel the fuzz and wuzz, it's a bonus. We do not depend on the firework display to know that GOd loves us. He lives in us and that is real and only by faith would we know it and not by feelings alone. May be I was young back then but as I look back now, it's faith that sustained me, not the experiences. Praise God, I am ok!

Grace Sunday School is not like TCC's youth service. TCC had a really charismatic pastor in Ps Dominique. He really pulled the Youths together in a special way. In a way, he was my first inspirational youth pastor. I knew that our yourh pastor had to be someone with his kind of character. Later in 1990, Grace started it's first youth service. I was so excited! At last there is our very own youth serice at Grace Assmebly! I was looking forward to it. I thought it was time for us to "do the youth thing" together like I experienced in TCC. With the fire I had in me, I was ready to spread the fire. Sis Joycelyn was in YFC back then and she encouraged us to organise Evangelistic meetings in 90 and 91. They were challenging, but it really got us into serving God in a bigger scale. The Sunday school, though split into three classes at one time, were not very united, but this changed when we were in Sr Teen 2 (when we were about 19, the last age group in the old Youth Division) when the then two classes combined (in the midst of much protest) and the following year when I returned from babylon the most happening and rocking Young Adult Class affectionately known to us as YAC 96

The first youth service in Grace was not really that "happening". It didn't feel like it had a "youth service vibe". It was wierd, it was more like trying to be another adult service just that it was feeled with youths. The worship leaders were adults, eek! Ok I am one too now, right? David do a way better job then those dudes. But hey, I respect them, ok? They are powerful men of God! The youth service gave me an opportunity to learn guitar and drums. In 1991, I started playing drums for the youth service. Seriously, I sucked, but I held the fort. hahaha! Wow, I have been playing guitar and drums for about 14 years now. i still suck (because i have high standards), CHEY! During the 1991 youth camp at the age of 15, I lead my first Praise and Worship session.

After about one year, the youth service was dissolved and the youths joined the adult service for worship then they leave for sunday school. It was a wierd arrangement. In 1993 bro Edmund Cheong started another youth service called "Grace Youth Alive"(GYA). That was also the year that Xiaowei came to Sunday school. I only know her as my Sunday School mate then, I was dating someone else then. Why so Kaypo? Anyway, this service wasn't on Sunday. It was on Saturday afternoons. However the attendence was quite pathetic about 20-30 people attend it regularly. Then there was also the slowly dying ISCA (Inter-School Christ Ambassadors) and GYC (Grace Youth Club). We also had GSS (Grace Sunday School). One church, so many youth related activities. It was quite a mess in my opinion. But I always thought that GYA was the so-called official youth service because we did organise big evangelistic stuff and also attend the big combined Assemblies of God's youth conferences. It was fun though. Many people back then have a huge influence in my life: Bro Edmund, Vincent, Glenn, Augustine, Robin and Jun Han.