Run to You pt. 2

A sudden gush of emotions flowed through my body. Oh man, sounds so charismatic! But it's so wierd! I was reading Serene's (tan) blog and I was so encouraged by her total abandonement to her faith in Christ and her willingness to obey the Lord by honoring her parents despite their opposition. If u have been reading, u know what I am talking about. What does it gotta do with what I was feeling?

I am thinking about how I have been in the past month. Things will indeed change. I have to change, I have no choice. It's a phase of life that we all must go through. As I said earlier, a "Gethsamane" that we have to go through and tell the Lord "let your will be done, not mine." When u said that in your prayer what are the implications? What does it demands?

1) Total commitment
2) Total trust
3) Total abandonement
4) Total change

The struggles has been good! The people that needed to know knew. The support that I have through my pillar of friends that God have surrounded me with have blessed me richly. I have a new perspective which I am still learning to cope with. I am learning once again to deal with my weaknesses, which I pray that will become my strength. I am glad for the trials that comes my way. It showed me who I trusted most. I trust God.

There were many times when my flesh was urging me to compromise, I struggled with the thoughts. I wanted to maintain my testimony, but I also want to indulge in my own lust. I prayed everytime, I wrestled with the Lord. I counted the cost and I didn't want to pay the price of regrets. What worth is there in serving our selfish ways? All I can see is misery in light of eternity, a gapping hole in my testimony.

What do others to see in me?

A testimony with patches sewn by the Lord's hands?

A testimonial that is marked

by tears of joy and regrets

that are dried in the sunshine

of His grace and mercy?

A legacy for all to see

that the Lord has indeed been

good to me?

Can they feel the Grace that surrounds

and mercy that abounds

which let me live again?

My GOD My GOD!

Let me be alive

As the Word brings life to me.

I have been so dry in the desert of my self-centredness

You have not been far in times my witness failed

You kept me near the cross and let me know you're with me all this while

To You

I am sorry

I fell when I tried but I failed

So I run to You

Where I am free

Back to You where I am home