Monday Meditations

"God gives, God takes. God's name be ever blessed" (Job 1:21)

I am reading Christian George's amazing Christ-honoring book "Sex, Sushi and Salvation" again. He commented that the theme of the book of Job is to help us in "developing a view of God as the Creator who sovereignly works His will even through pain and suffering.

I have always pride myself in being the CCC (Cool, calm and collected) of our marriage, but those who knows be best seems to think it's more CFC (Contemptuous, Forgetful and Complacent) than CCC. I think that other people's assessment of me is accurate because they see my actions and words, they are louder than my convictions. Here within me lies the problem which I have hinted or outrightly stated in this old blog time and again over the past 4 years. While the Word of God was written in my heart, the heart have hardened to stone. I "see" the conviction in this stone, but it's cold; I do not feel it; it is dead.

Yesterday I went to G2 for the morning service. Thank God for SW for allowing me to have some "God-time" on my own. As the worship session progressed, I felt the Holy Spirit slowly melting my heart and made the Words in my heart alive again. This morning I decided to bring the "Sex book" (that's what I call it) and let wherever the last bookmarked pages speak to me and it was the chapter describing what Job went through.

The application of the verse and the commentary by Christian George is this, in my struggle to grasp the uncertainty of Chia Ee's future, there must be total trust in God who will sovereignly take care of him when we are gone. Right now it is our duty to bring him up, to teach him, play with him, provide for him the best that we possibly can. That we through our struggle with that uncertainty will lean on the everlasting arm of God; totally surrendering and totally trusting Him to guide us and to succeed for the boy when we are gone. There is a bitter-sweet comfort in the discomfort of all these struggles that only a heart of flesh- a heart that is alive- finds in Christ. So mysterious, yet so revealing to our hearts of faith. There is peace in the midst of the tears; there is power in the midst of our weakness.

I am so weak, dear God, yet I will trust in You. Thank You for your assurance. amen