Why so angsy Jenn?

I am so out of control. So out of the control of the Holy Spirit. My thought life is in ruins. I am not feeding my mind with the right things. If I continue to struggle, I feel I will suffocate and die under the weight of my burdens. What burdens? In the hands of God, they are nothing but feathers, but yet when it's on my back, they are like a sack of bricks! The wrong thoughts begats wrong behaviour and those wrong behaviour gave birth to indifference in the things of God.

In a way, I thank God for this struggle because I know it will do me good if I learn from it and move on to victory. The problem with me is I have no patience. I always want a quick fix to things; I always wanted things to go my way, but life doesn't always go the way we want. By God's grace he has used circumstances and people to speak to me, all unexpected just like Balaam's donkey. It's a very humbling experience I must add.

I will not give up!