Humbled

I wanted to have a lengthy talk with Joey about something we chatted about (something to do with how BS have changed us) yesterday, but I realised that I've been so hard on him and expect him to be like me. I am glad that he is taking a stand and disagreeing with me coz it humbles me to be reminded that I am too proud at times (lately most of the time). I am too one-sided and I tend not to listen to others. If it's someone else perhaps, I could careless, but it's Joey and I love him as a Brother and his opinion matters. And it's about time, I stand down from my pedestal, be quick to listen and slow to anger. If I want to reach other to people and not give room for others to voice their opinion, what kind of an example am I?

I've been greatly humbled in a chat with another sister about her views on this matter. This is where it kills me:

but having said all that ah jenn, my stand on this whole issue is this: the parachurch/bs should not coz disharmony in the church. Disunity will break the ministry down. So when we state our opinion of things, we need to be careful also. Coz there are those who are younger in their faith and they follow whoever says wat..

The zeal I have is killing me by being so narrow-minded in my way of handling others. I expect too much from them the very thing that I struggle to keep. In my quest to disciple others, I became merciless and graceless. Too much fire and brimestone make others shun me. I don't like that. There is a time for everything. Sometimes I need to speak up, sometimes I need to tone down. Sometimes I need to be more gracious and allow others to disagree with me. I am not going where for now. Grace and R-age is my home and there is work to be done and there are lessons for me to learn from the examples of our pastors. Being a youth leader the object of our worship is God, but it's subjected by the maturity level of the people that are given under our wings. Different people have different level of maturity. Being a leader to a small group makes it easier to mentor them. Frankly speaking, I've not donw good job at all! Last time I had Sunday School teachers who kept me in check. I appreciate them. They are still around with their families. Soon I will have my own family and will have to take care of that ministry first. Will I leave a legacy that will remind others happy things or will other see me as the miserable leader who used to be in youth? I want to help R-age! I don't know how long I can afford to serve in the ministry. But while there is still time. I must make much of it!

The pride and the knowledge without wisdom is killing me!
I am losing the vision I am suppose to share for the ministry.
It's time to get back...

I want a pastoral heart, Lord. I don't want to be a prophet that prophecy about judgement. I really want to be a shepherd to ur people! Give me your heart for Your people!

Charge me

Teach me

Bleach me

Reach me

Change me