How to treat people
Especially those that we have not seen in church for a long time for various reasons; either they shipwrecked their faith; sinned against another person in the fellowship; change church; or simple disappeared.
U know what I learned from those who left Grace? U know what they can't stand about people in Grace (I am not saying the whole church is like that) when they come back? It's that "look" that they all receive. How come all of them say the same thing? Is it a coincident that I heard it from almost 5 different friends? I tried so many times to defend our ministry by rationalising with them. I told them that it's not an ostracising look, but one of awkwardness after a time of seperation. However they all told me the same thing, "it didn't feel that way." Why is this so? I figure that it's probably the lack of communication at that point of contact. I am sure that awkwardness is one of the reason, but I find that the lack of hospitality and Christian love is really lacking in our handling of such situations.
Some of u know who I have a strong feeling for and against. When I talk about about them, I can be very vocal, but when I think about them, sometimes I pray for them out of compassion. Tonight, Daniel told me something that change my way of handling these "deserters". Daniel reminded me of the day I met him at Jacob Prasch conference at Hakka Methodist Church about 2 years ago. I think he must have expected me to give him that "look", instead I gave him a big bear hug and told him how happy I was to see him! Daniel recalled that incident to me tonight and he said he was very touched by it. Of course lah! He is one of my *"IYFTTE" friend! I also realised that we should treat everyone the same. I have heard testimonies about how people feel so welcomed when they go to other churches. R-age can be such a place!
Who have u offended by giving them that look? Give them a hug and tell them with ur heart how happy u are to see them again. Make a change! Make R-age a safe place for everyone!
*In Your Face Til The End
4 Comments:
Oh man, Jenn... How do we change culture? Where does it start? What can we do? How should we pray?
A part from praying, we are a reflection of our leaders. And our sheep will be a reflection of us. Who is our ultimate role model? Jesus, Teachers or Pastors? There must be an order. Frankly I am humbled by the Lord's example in his short ministry according to the gospels, but they speak so much about how we ought to become. Does that answer ur question of where to start?
I must clarify. In being nice, it doesn't mean we condone sin and not confront it. We must be careful not to judge hypocritically.
I agree, it's more than being nice, and it's definitely not a condonement of sin. If Jesus is our role model, then why aren't we following more? Honestly, I'm wondering, Jesus couldn't possibly have given every one who followed him the kind of attention that would warrant "he's nice". Very possibly, in fact, by virtue of the fact that he is also wholly human (as much as he is wholly divine), he would have ignored some people along the way, at least physically. So, how are we to mimic his actions then? I think, perhaps, to stretch it a little more, is being more than nice. I think it's a lot more than that. If i were to be absolutely critical, and perhaps even risk being repirmanded by this, perhaps we really lack the Spirit in our daily lives. We're having form but not power, we're having programs but not heart, we're having worship but not humility. And I think people sense it, the genuineness of our ministry. I don't mean to be so pessimistic and leaning on this side of things- i don't really enjoy it.
I had best not be too quick to judge those around me, because I cannot know the condition of one's heart, but, i can put myself on the table and dissect my motivation. Even then, for the rest of us who don't wish to scrutinize ourselves too much (often at risk of being more self-centred than Christ-centred- it's another issue) it might be that we're not communicating clearly enought through our actions and speech? I'm definitely cautious of overextending the hug or hand and welcome beyond what is real- i don't want to find myself on the brink of hypocrisy. Yet, actions say A LOT about our underlying beliefs.
My comclusion is this. Start now, with me. Lord help me.
Wow, I am glad u gave this post a lot of thought.
Yes, it's not about being nice, it's more than "being nice". Ah, we have the REAL program. What does it mean to be really "REAL"? The fruit of our spirit won't lie. If we sow bitterness and anger, we will reap bitterness and anger. No bad tree can bear good fruit and vice versa. Therefore only when we live a REAL life in Christ will our fruit, the character that the spirit breaths into us, be seen by others. We can act the part in front of others, but God is not mocked.
May the compassion and discernment that is being exhibited thru our saviours life be manifested in our everyday dealings with others.
Post a Comment
<< Home