Who u wanna be?

" 10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset."

Exodus 17:10-12 (New International Version)

A few days ago, I felt like Moses. He is a dynamic leader, but he has his weakness. He was always careless and never use his intelligence in follow the instructions the Lord gave him. One of the best example was during in the verse above. He always have people with him and he never thought of asking for help until he the Israelites tasted defeat.

I may know a lot, but all my knowledge is so fuzzy. I am don't deserve the compliments that others have given me concerning my knowledge. I know I don't know much and there is so much for me to study. I thank God for Daniel taking the courage to question about my growth as a leader. It's about time I realign my priorities. I have to admit that I've been thinking too much about playing drums lately. I spent too much of my free time slacking and doing anything than spending time with God or studying His word.

I remember the prayer I prayed two years ago when I just started freelancing again. The fire was raw, the Lord's refiner's fire was hot. But when work starts coming in, I lose my discipline and didn't commit to the the things I've prayed about. My prayer was for the Lord to help me spend time growing on my free days so that I won't waste my days doing things that has no value. Well, there's definitely a time to rest and slack, but excessive slacking to me is sin. A wasted life. So I didn't want to waste my life. I still wanna do God's will and see his blessings flow. It's not for the blessing that I am craving for. I just want His will be done on earth and I want to be an agent of His glory in our church. The promises and blessings are a gift from God that I dare not demand. But I trust Him to take care of me and my family. I also trust the people I am leading in His hands. As we obey the Lord, the Lord works for us for His Glory!! He is not blind to our service nor our struggles. He is so gracious that He'll send us His angels in the form of our friends to build us up. Sometimes, I need to be shaken up from my day-dream when a gentle work doesn't work. Which ever ways the Lord chooses, I trust Him that everything will work out for good!

I don't want to be a Moses. My character may be reflected in the life of Moses, but my ultimate example is Jesus. I want to be more like Jesus!